This is an article from a past interview.
This spring, I had been considering buying a new bicycle. However, when I actually went to the store, the shop owner quickly told me, “You can’t possibly buy one now.” Due to the spread of COVID-19, bicycle parts from various countries and even the bicycles themselves had disappeared from Italy. He told me that if I placed an order now, I could get one by 2022, but popular colors like white and black would require a considerable wait. “Others saw this coming and bought theirs right when the pandemic started,” he said, making me feel as if I had missed out or made a mistake. He even hinted at some tricks to get a bike, but I couldn’t find peace in the sudden sense of competition and exclusivity.
That day, I gave up on buying a bicycle and left the store. On my way home, I processed various emotions and realized I was comparing myself to those who gather information and anticipate events. By the time I got home, I felt a bit calmer. On a whim, I opened the barn that had been closed for a while and found a 40-year-old bicycle covered in dust. In that moment, the bicycle appeared to me as a symbol of peace. I decided to repair it, and now I live comfortably every day with that bicycle. If you are free from your thoughts, life itself will connect you to where you should go. Everything is designed for each of us to walk our own journey smoothly: the way we breathe, the quality of our hair, when we go to the bathroom, when we start a journey, where we go, where we live. Everything is proposed and prepared for each of us.
When you compare yourself to others, you are distancing yourself from your true self (self-identity). Comparisons can only be made through past experiences. Even if the experience is happening now, the comparison you see is of the past. The “real me” exists only in the “now.” The “now” is completely different from two years ago, even two seconds ago. When we stray from the timeless flow of the “now,” we feel pain either emotionally or physically. Impatience, resentment, and anger all arise when we are not our true selves and are experiencing something through memory.
So, during such times, you can introspect. This emotion is the memory I couldn’t let go of for years. Suppressing emotions is not Ho’oponopono, nor is it saying not to compare yourself to others. If such an experience arises, it’s a sign that you can clean and return to yourself.
Sometimes, when a certain emotion arises, you may wish someone would say something to calm you down. But those words are truly the sincere words Uhane (mother aspect of yourself) should say to Unihipili (Inner child). When those words are exchanged, you regain the bond of reassurance and safety.
In class, you can learn and practice the correct way of inner dialogue from scratch. At the same time, you’ll practice letting go of the fear of making mistakes.
Peace,
Nello Ceccon
