This is an interview article with Nello.
Nello’s responses are highlighted in light blue.

Becoming Aware and Acknowledging Your Thoughts

This interview focuses on a theme we often hear from many Ho’oponopono practitioners.
Especially among women, feelings such as “I am not enough” or “I have no worth” are quite common. These emotions and traumatic memories are deeply rooted and tend to replay over and over again.
They often originate from childhood experiences. Personally, I was frequently criticized by my mother as a child, which led me to feel that I was not enough. Even as an adult, those memories continue to influence me deeply, and I still face them as I continue my cleaning.
Nello, I’d like to ask—how can we clean these kinds of memories related to self-denial or the belief that “I am not enough”?

I completely understand. Even as a man, I’ve had experiences where I felt “I am not enough,” especially in relationships with women. Thank you for bringing up this important topic.
In my case, I was the youngest in the family, and often felt inadequate. But after learning Ho’oponopono, I realized that this feeling of “not being enough” wasn’t something my family caused—it was a memory that was already within me. My family environment merely replayed that memory.
Through practicing Ho’oponopono, I began to see the importance of developing a new awareness—of loving and respecting myself.
Women in particular may feel that they’re not as valuable as men. In the workplace or social situations, they might feel they have to compete with men or prove themselves.
But these too are strong memories. The good news is—they all begin within. That means we have the ability to work on them.
Men, too, may not think they’re in competition with women, but they can still carry feelings of being “not enough”—whether in appearance or emotional strength.
We live in a time when collective consciousness is shifting, and society increasingly values both men and women. There is no real difference between the two. Around the world, more and more women are reclaiming their power and beginning to live authentically.
Feelings like “I was not chosen” or “I have no worth” are also released as we let go of memories. Ho’oponopono is a beautiful tool for releasing these kinds of memories.

【Nello’s Cleaning Advice】

When these thoughts come up, the first step is to notice and acknowledge them. Then, follow your inspiration and use cleaning tools.
For example, simply repeating “Thank you” or “I love you” in your heart allows you to release these thoughts and memories.
Even pausing for a moment or deciding to “let go” can begin to change everything.

Stop Trying to Be Liked by Others

In my experience, I find it easier to trust and assign important work to people who express their strengths and talents honestly.
On the other hand, some people unconsciously try too hard to be liked.
For instance, saying “Yes, I’ll do it” while inwardly feeling “I really don’t want to” is one such example.
Ho’oponopono teaches us to live as our true selves.
So in those moments, ask yourself: “Am I acting as my authentic self right now?” “Is this truly what I want to do?”
By continuing to ask these questions, you become someone who can both give and receive freely.
Men often carry the qualities needed in society, family, and education—like focus and goal achievement.
Women, on the other hand, are emotionally attuned and skilled in expressing those emotions.
If we see these feminine qualities not as weaknesses but as strengths, we can live more freely and authentically. Society needs these qualities. That’s why how we see ourselves is so important.
In Ho’oponopono, you can clean these thoughts using phrases like “Thank you” or “I love you.”
Sometimes, simply saying “I love you” is enough.
When we focus on love, we are guided toward the right words and choices.
When we act against our true feelings, that too becomes an experience to clean.
Ho’oponopono is a teaching for both men and women—to live freely.

First, Find Peace Within Yourself

Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len also placed great importance on themes related to gender.
In our official cleaning tools manual, there are several tools introduced specifically to clean memories between men and women.
For example, tools to release emotions such as anger or resentment that women may feel toward men.
Ho’oponopono allows us to release emotions like guilt or worthlessness, regardless of gender.
What’s important is to first find peace within yourself.
For women, that means being able to fully relax into and accept being a woman.
To do so, you need to clean the memories within you.
Once your inner world is in harmony, your outer world—your family, your workplace—will naturally begin to change.
Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, the founder of SITH Ho’oponopono, was a healer from Hawai‘i.
She never hesitated to express her power and capabilities.
I believe that women, through practicing Ho’oponopono, can fully bloom into their own power and abilities.
Ho’oponopono is the process of expressing your true self.

Yes, I once used an official tool to clean “memories related to men.”
I grew up hearing my mother criticize my father, so I must have developed a memory of judging men.
After cleaning with that tool, my view of men changed dramatically.
I began to look for things I could respect in men, read books by male authors, and even took classes from male teachers.
Through that, I realized there are so many wonderful qualities in men.

Yes, that’s part of the process.
But I believe today’s society is ready for more women to fully live their power.

Cherish Your Unihipili

I’d like to share one more experience.
In Ho’oponopono, we are taught that our relationship with the Unihipili (subconscious/inner child) is essential.
Personally, when I use tools to care for my Unihipili and our relationship is in a good place, I feel more confident and able to live authentically.
But when I neglect or ignore my Unihipili for a while, I start comparing myself to others and fall into self-denial.
So I want to ask—when feelings like “I’m not enough” or “I have no worth” arise, is that a sign that we’ve lost connection with our Unihipili and are once again replaying old memories?
I believe that when we reconnect with our Unihipili, we can love and express our own beauty and feminine qualities.

Yes, exactly.
It all depends on the relationship you have with yourself.
And nurturing that relationship beautifully takes time.
For me, mornings are a time I look forward to.
Because I can say, “Today again, I get to care for my Unihipili.”
Even simply saying “I love you” to yourself is an act of cherishing your Unihipili.
This kind of self-care isn’t about being better than anyone else—it’s about choosing to value yourself.
In Ho’oponopono, connection with your Unihipili is the key.
I pay attention to my thoughts and emotions throughout each day.
Especially when feelings like anxiety, anger, or judgment arise, I ask myself:
“What’s going on inside me right now?” “What am I feeling?” “What thoughts are coming up?”
It’s like gently asking your Unihipili, “How are you feeling right now?”
By doing this, you begin to notice your inner voice and choose how to respond to it.
I’ve also realized that when I ignore myself or my Unihipili, similar experiences happen in the outer world—like being ignored by others.
That’s because what’s happening inside is always reflected outside.

Thank you so much.
This is such a profound theme—I feel like we could talk about it for days.
It really shows how deeply these memories are rooted within us.
Ongoing awareness and cleaning truly are essential.